“Die In Pain, Rest In Peace” is fast, free, and makes Mad Max look like an old woman pushing a pram of kittens through a flower garden.  Proof that unofficial mods aren’t just model packs and unbalanced levels, D.I.P.R.I.P. is an astonishingly good total conversion for Half Life 2.  So good that the people who actually made HL2 recently announced “That’s so awesome we’re going to officially support it.”  It uses the the Source physics engine to kick more ass than most officially developed games and does a better job of Death Race than Death Race does.

Remember the awesome vehicle sections in Half Life 2?  Imagine that with cars which aren’t wimpy cage-constructions, don’t waste time worrying about the wimpy humans inside, and every other player is a real live human that you can blow to chunks.  The “kill everyone else for poorly explained reasons” plot is eternal as the idea of gaming, and it’s still more coherent here than in the recent Death Race remake. It’s also just as irrelevant.  Gaming like this is defined by what you end up doing, not why, and you will be doing awesometastic things: crashing through barriers and diving off bridges to avoid enemy fire, handbrake-spinning ballets of death, slaloming between crates with heavy machine-gun fire rattling all around and yelling as you unleash guided missile devastation upon ambushed enemies.

Your first game on a DIPRIP server is a learning experience.  Suddenly appearing in a field full of armoured cars with machine guns will tend to be, and at least this way you get more than one go.  The most vital skill is rapid weapon select - you’ll want to redefine those keys to somewhere closer than the number row (like those lovely extra buttons if you have a real gaming mouse).  The mortar is optimistic at best (though it’s a treat and a joy if you can range in on two people distracted by their close range battle), missile fire is for the mid-range (where you can trade between homing ability or sheer explosive force) and the light machine gun is vital for close combat as the only gun you can aim in directions other than “straight ahead”.

This is no clunky blastfest either.  DIPRIP rewards both shooting and driving, with daring skids and tight turns through the detailed environments making the adrenaline-soaked difference between life and death.  Bursting through walls, hay bales, and generally shouting “YEeeeeHAAA!” like a considerably more badassDuke of Hazzard.  The maps are varied, from the vast and lethal plains of Village to the tight turns of the heavily built up Refinery.  The scenery is vital as well as vivid, fantastically grim and detailed settings providing cover, ambush points and sheer speedrun getaways for demented drivers of all stripes.

The best example of DIPRIP destruction delight is the turbocharger.  Yes, turbocharger, as in “Jet streams of fire and jump over hills to ram into your enemies” turbocharger.  The more you turbocharge the higher the temperature rises.  In most games, hereafter to be known as “wimps”, overheating means it’ll shut down and can’t be used for a while.  Developers EXOR Studios cunningly realised that “slowing down” and “not turbocharging” weren’t exactly exciting concepts and you here can turbocharge as much as you like - as long as you don’t mind the likely consequences of overheating a system composed mainly of flammable liquids and fire.

Any game where you find yourself racing for a corner to shake incoming fire, flames streaming from your battered vehicle with “missile lock on” and “turbocharger overload” sirens competing for your attention?  Where a daring escape or overload detonation is a matter of microseconds?  That is an awesome game. A game that will be available on Steam.  For free.  If you love fast and furious firepower, you should play it.  If you don’t, I don’t wanna talk to you no more.