Lessons Learned From The Left4Dead 2 Demo
Posted in Left4Dead News
We’re mere moments from Left 4 Dead 2 servers going live, and the zombie-killing community hasn’t been so excited since a lumberjack decided strapping a motor to a chain would be a great way to cut things. We’ve spent more time on the demo servers than asleep over the last fortnight, and now - in the brief window before we disappear from human society for at least five campaigns four hundred times each - it’s time to see what we’ve learned from the trial run.
1. People Have No Pattern Recognition Whatsoever
People who pre-ordered were promised exclusive early access to the L4D2 demo on October 27th. This demo was a day late, and if that surprises you then thanks for reading despite never having heard of Valve (or having just arrived from a parallel universe where Hitler won the war, the sky is green, and ‘Valve time’ corresponds to real time). Valve games haven’t been on time since ever, with Half Life 2 - one of the best games ever - seventeen months behind schedule. Left4Dead 2’s demo was only a day late, and of course fans reacted with the calm and collected rationality gamers are famous for.
Clearly Tupinambis* subscribes to the Mafia definition of mano-a-mano promises. Gabe Newell would doubtless have woken facing a horse’s head, had our brave forum hero not been too busy not knowing how to use the word ‘proportions.’ Or ‘perspective’. Or ‘life’.
*Unlike him we actually have better things to do than screw around with character alt-codes to make him look more interesting.
2. People Have No Pattern Recognition Whatsoever
People fear even the slightest change, which is especially odd when they’re buying a sequel (and powers past odd into insanity when they also complain if the sequel stays the same). Within moments of L4D2 servers starting up, survivors were screaming about how the melee weapons broke the game and made it far too easy to survive hordes. FUN FACT: every single one of them was playing on “Normal.” LESS FUN FACT: On Expert you could be using directional nuclear blasts as a melee weapon and still lose.
After all, it’s not like Valve tweak and tune games for years after release, and especially for collecting data during limited demo sessions to streamline the experience. The very second the first draft is out the door, the entire staff sails into the ocean until they find a place free from any access to the outside world.
BONUS COMPLAINT: Some people are complaining about whacking zombies with an electric guitar, and how it releases rocking noise and the undead’s head in one fell blow. These people are clearly deranged and should be restrained for their own good.
I’m making music by beating up a security guard with a blood-slick guitar. THIS COULD ONLY BE MORE METAL IF I WAS ON FIRE (also possible)
3. Things Can Always Get Worse
Left4Dead’s entire deal is that things are screwed the hell up and getting worse. The survivors are constantly stumbling through nightmare, while the Crash Course campaign revealed that all four corpse-campaigns are actually happening one after the other. Add the safe room map basically saying “The US of A:Totally Infected”, and you’ve got a situation which would make a man stuck in a bear trap say “At least I get to sit down.”
New Yorkers are finally correct in thinking they’re the entire country
The writers make Left 4 Dead 2 even grimmer almost instantly: carriers. It seems some survivors can carry the infection to others without falling sick themselves, meaning that the Army - saviors par excellence in the first game - are now actively hunting and killing humans. Awesome.
I bet they get ice cream!
4. We Can’t Wait
Desire for undead-damage leaks across even the bounds of reality, jumping from Left 4 Dead to TF2 servers, where pre-orderers are armed with the experienced headgear of a certain Vietnam veteran.
Pictured: an Australian who would last about four seconds in Left 4 Dead