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January 31st, 2011

The Spectacularly Insane Suicide-Survival Game

Posted in HL2 Deathmatch News, Half Life 2: Deathmatch Classic News
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Suicide Survival is the best argument for user modifications since improving coke with whiskey: more fun, less likely to gain official support than a Care Bear firing range, and not for anyone who cares about professional skills. It’s madder than a Katamari rolling up Alice’s Wonderland and filled with more lunatic genius than Arkham Asylum.

It’s not just the insane contradiction of the suicide-survival concept. The concept of fat people gardening against an army of suicidal shrubberies would have a company committee recoiling like Dracula in a garlic-scented cross candle factory. It goes out of its way to offend people: the obese wobble with rage if you even mention that adjective, you’re placed on ten government watchlists if you even read an article with “suicide bomber” in it (sorry about that), and vegans are offended by the idea of homicidal plants. But you don’t have to worry about that last one. When someone’s so dedicated to upsetting themselves in a luxurious modern world that they decide “eating food” can be done wrong, you were going to offend them anyway, and the lack of protein makes them very unthreatening opponents.

It’s also more fun than a rave in a bouncy castle.

It’s the most asymmetrical game since David vs Goliath. The survivors are a team of fat counter-terrorists are put out to pasture, but that pasture is less “easy retirement” than “death by shrubbery.” The suiciders are out to destroy them. And are potted plants.


A bad place to know that green things want to kill you

The suiciders are utterly indistinguishable from the scenery unless they’re moving, making every game a combination of hide-and-seek with yakety sax. Lethal leaves sprint around the map every time the overweight defenders turn their backs.

The entire concept is more a testament to insane fun than LSD in an amusement park. From the flinging of gardening books (the survivor’s only weapon) to the Seriously Sam “Lolololollololoo!” death-yodel of the charging gardening, not a single line of this game was coded with less than laughter. That’s the benefit of the mod: it’s never on schedule, it’s never demanded by for the fourth quarter profits, and it’s never rushed out the door. Most are luckily if they’re ever “officially” released at all, but the benefit is that when they are it’s because the makers loved every second and cared enough to devote their own entertainment time to finishing it.

A game that’s fun to play because it was fun to make, and entirely free. It’s also incredibly easy to set up your own server - as a Half Life 2 server mod Lowpings can run one for you at any time - and it is unspeakably beyond fun. From the first time player to the experienced clan, the fresh experience is priceless. And that’s literally true, because it has no price, becaues it’s free. The game is so different, so insane, that even the most jaded AWPer will be entertained for an evening, and find themselves coming back for more.

The next time you feel bored, remember that you have no excuse. You should be trying this.

 
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